You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

(and yes, I hope you just heard Mandy Patinkin's voice).

A lot of people I know tend to use the word "alone." Specifically, other people have a tendency to perceive me as being alone. And while that is strictly true in the no romantic partner sense - that is pretty much the only way it is true. In fact, alone is a word that, as I tell my niece, is a made up idea. There is no such thing as alone - not really. I understand that a lot of people spend enormous amounts of time and energy longing for and searching for someone, often anyone. I know - I used to do that too. Right up until I tried to commit suicide of over it. My desire for someone led me to a relationship that I allowed to destroy my life. I've written other posts about this experience for me before - because it is one of two pivotal experiences that make me who I am. When I woke up from the miasma of suffering I had created for myself - it was through creation, inspiration, and following my passion. I understood then that I could no longer live my life with my happiness pinned upon any person other than myself.

My journey since then has been centered around exploring my purpose in this world and my connection to my higher self. Although others may perceive the large amounts of time I spend with no physical contact as alone, I am anything but. My cosmic view involves knowing intellectually that I am connected  genetically, chemically, and ultimately energetically to the entire cosmos (including ever parallel world of the multiverse). I know that all times may possibly exist in the room with me - that on other dimensions and energetic frequencies, other beings exist in the same space as I. My cosmic view also involves knowing experientially and profoundly that I am connected to all of creation in very awesome ways. Each moment I spend in creation, in meditation, in zen mode is another moment I spend connecting with my divine self and the sum total of creation. I have spent moments crying in bliss and awe at the amazing sensations of feeling the connection that I know to be there intellectually. I am surrounded by loving people, animals, plants, the planet, our star, dark matter... I am infinitely connected and fundamentally a part of the cosmic whole. Nothing will ever change that. How could anyone ever feel alone in this universe?

But wouldn't it be nice to have someone to you know, be with? Yes, absolutely. But more specifically, it would be nice to be with someone else who knows this too. You see, I am whole, complete and connected by myself. In my life I already enjoy close relationships with siblings and friends who share this experience. We love each other enough to allow room, time, and most importantly - for each other to follow our paths. We interact with each other as divine beings working together towards a common goal. Anyone I added to this group would necessarily be another divine being having a human experience. I seek for all of my close relationships to be with other people who are living from their divine nature. This precludes the possibility of being alone.

When I am ready and it is the right time, my higher self will guide me in finding the person I am meant to be with. And yes, the person. Just as I know my purpose, I also know my teammates. I know each of them arrives at precisely the right time (as we planned it). I wish that I could share this knowledge with everyone. I feel so much compassion for every lonely person who looks at me and sees loneliness. I wish I could give them the amazing connection I experience at the center of my life with all of creation. I wish I could give them my knowing that everything happens at the right time and in the right places. I wish I could show them that they are never ever alone - and that what they want isn't me - it's the knowing that they are attracted to. I also know that they are the only ones who can make the choice to experience the connectedness of everything. I know that they must find their own higher selves, their own passions and purposes. So I send them love and well wishes that one day they will be ready to make that choice.