The Challenge

No-one wants to be special anymore. Only the truly naive beg to be special, and even then it's their kind of special - chosen one, fairy tale princess, supremely powerful witch - a one-sided childhood fantasy of magically having everything we've ever wanted without having to do anything for it but wait for it to happen because we are... special. And so the wisest among us wrap ourselves in Copernican theory. We're so far removed from the center of the universe that we think we are a freak accident of cosmic chaos, a temporary and meaningless blip of nothing. We've gone from the pathetically egocentric and geocentric model of existence to the opposite extreme; a coldly logical and nihilistic worldview that leaves us with nothing. Given that, neither view is likely to be correct. The answer instead must lie somewhere in the middle.

Logically, in any given set of data, there will be extremes. And so it stands to reason that despite our current abhorrence of the concept, some of us must in fact, be special. And given our current knowledge of infinite multiverse, it may be radical, but not unfair to say that we, as humans, are ALL special. So why are we so reluctant to be so?

If the naive are desperate to be special, the experienced are reluctant to be so for they alone bear the secret that every hero knows: it is the journey that makes the hero. Read some mythology. Read some science fiction. Read some fantasy. Find me a hero that had a happy life, who had everything laid out before them. Think of the popular heroes of our culture, line them up side by side, and tell me what common thread you find wound among them. Luke Skywalker, Harry Potter, Neo... all went through absolute hell to get where they were. There's a burden that comes with being special; it means you are destined to struggle with some serious shit. And that's what makes the hero. Every hero finds themselves faced with a choice. Their specialness, their destiny, is a given. It will not change or go away. The question is how they deal with it. Does the shit make them a villain or does the shit make them a hero?

We were born alone in this corner of the universe; a rare and special combination of just right in a solar system of just right in a universe of just right. Cosmically speaking, our entire species occupies a very awesome sweet spot. We, each of us, are one of the few (not only, but not many) occurrences of sentient aware beings in this science experiment. What are we going to do with it? Certainly our future is dubious as a species, but what of our future as individuals, for it is as individuals that we comprise this species. We were born, we are going to die. We are each unique. These are givens. What we do with those givens are up to us. So I ask, do you dare to be special? Do you have what it takes to confront yourself, to battle your demons and struggle with yourself until you find yourself at harmony with the universe, until you know your unique purpose? Do you have what it takes to embark upon the hero's journey, to stand out, to lift your species to greatness? Or are you a selfish villain, will you hamper the survival, the betterment, the greatness that is our potential, because all you are concerned with is yourself? Are you a villain? Or worse, are you a mindless nothing, giving your money, your support, your very existence to the villainy of selfishness?

Today is the day you make that decision. I made mine. What is yours?

Know Thyself

for years now I've made a habit out of scrutinizing myself and analyzing my flaws and weaknesses. I think I can honestly attribute this practice to the continued presence of Rhiannon in my life. at first this process required an external combustion source, harsh criticism by one of her priestesses. it was painful. and it got to be even more painful. once I was past the stage of being verbally told my flaws, I moved into the stage where painful events beyond my control revealed them to me. I began talking directly to Rhiannon, and her hand certainly felt quite heavy. but after every wound had healed I found myself more whole, as though an infection had been removed from me. and so I persisted. for certain the process is not entirely internal yet; the universe still prompts me to recognize the spots "I've missed", but it has become less painful. and this is as it should be; I am a crystal in the jeweler's hand, each step of the sandpaper is softer than the last.

like a crystal, although I am more beautiful in my polished state, polishing me does not remove my flaws; it refines them. to remove the flaws in a stone would be to remove what makes that stone different from another. rose quartz is actually the same thing as an amethyst. both are "impure" versions of a quartz, each infused with a different periodic element. if you removed that impurity, you would no longer have a rose quartz or an amethyst. likewise, it is our "flaws" that make us different from one another, that make us who we are instead of someone else. but our flaws need not be negatives that detract from our beauty, they can be refined to make us the best that we could be.

we are each reflections of the divine, and as such our flaws are not terrible things to destroyed, but challenges and strengths we have yet to uncover. we were born with these specific traits because that is what the universe needed. our specific combination of traits is perfectly suited to help ease the suffering of another part of the universe. we are born to be the antidote to another's pain. but if we do not examine ourselves, if we do not uncover these flaws and transform them from weaknesses into strengths, if we persist in lying to ourselves, we will be unready, unwilling and unable to help each other. this is why self-examination and honesty are necessary. as long as we are in denial about who we really are, we are unable to use that knowledge to make the world a better place. in doing so we deny our purpose, our destiny, our identity.